I totally deserve this..

I decide to include a new exercise regime to my 'beginning to get bored' daily routine. I would shout out loud... in my heart (really, shouting is not tolerable for the morning sleepy crowds) 'Good Morning, Neighbors!' while I do my morning walk, brisk paced, yet in a most relaxing mood possible.

When I was doing my first morning walk around my neighborhood (Mike proposed a 'guided' route that he thinks is safe enough for someone who could get herself lost in a carpark), interesting thoughts swam by.

I noticed the usual 9-5 working class people rushing to the bus-stops; or restlessly walking towards the direction leading to the train station. I remembered that I was one of them, some years ago. When I was just like you, just like most of the city people, it often occurred to me when I saw some morning joggers, that I would love to not need to wake up at this hour, and rush to start a mundane routine.

Here I am today, assuming that position. I walk, with head high up, appreciating the small stuffs along the way. I wondered though, I have given up a great deal of financial stability to do what I am doing, where the hell have I been for the past 2 years? I should have been doing this a long time ago!

I totally deserve to decide what time work should starts. I don't need to dive into the usual immediacy of getting started with work. I have the whole day ahead to do my work, and I will always get things done, that is a commitment to myself and the customers.

Mike thinks I should walk within certain small perimeter around where we live, and it goes around, so I will return to where I started eventually. I have lived here for nearly 10 years (or slightly over 10 years) but I am ashamed to say that I am not familiar with the area! Perhaps, I haven't been paying enough attention to my relatively green neighborhood.

We often take things for granted, don't we? The neatly trimmed greens are not there naturally, if you can't already tell. They are painstakingly maintained by some hardworking people, just so that we could wake up to see greenery. Unfortunately, most of the time, most of us simply slide pass the hard work, and not notice it. The good news though, is that there are some very dedicated elderly who do Qigong every morning, and perhaps sit around the greens to chat start the mornings. They might have helped make up for the losses that we are incurring everyday, simply by not appreciating the small things in life.

It is refreshing to start the morning with some much needed exercise, which almost nearly promises good mood to start the day. It's not so difficult, really, just know that there is nothing that urgent or life threatening in that computer that you need to start up as soon as you wake up. We think we are 'needed' immediately, otherwise someone may suffer, we think? Or we imagine?

Everything happens for a reason. The recent reconnection with Jessie could be a 'reminder' to start enjoying my life again because I deserve it. When we allow ourselves to get way too ahead of ourselves, we allow negative panic to fill in. Being able to take a break during office hours, and talk anything else but work, was enjoyable. When I return to live for myself again, I become happier. I have to stop sabotaging myself that I have to once again work too hard to bring in enough money, otherwise my parents might starve. I am sure it is just an imaginary fear that is playing with my mind.

In order to obtain simple bliss and peace, we first need to live simply. The 'dead end' is imaginary, unless you are doing bad things, we will find a way out, somehow.

Just a side note, I actually nearly lose my way this morning in the 'safest' route! Seriously, we should not have so many exit points, when everything else around the place look nearly identical!!! Firstly, I couldn't tell which exit point leads to where I wished to head to; Secondly, when I returned to this same spot again (I walked 2 rounds this morning), I couldn't find the exit point which I used earlier!!! Gosh! They need to label each exit points/staircases with alphabets (oh yeah, do not use numbers, because that confuses me more!)! Oh well, alas, I still find a way out, even though I might have taken a longer route, but I got out safely eventually.